Self-help is a team sport!

How thinking differently about self-help might actually help you improve.

I confess that I am a complete self-help junkie! My collection of physical books, e-books and audiobooks is probably 90% dedicated to self-improvement, psychology, human behavior, and behavior change. Some of this is of course a function of my job but a huge part of it is my long-standing fascination with what makes me – and therefore by extension other people I know – tick. As a coach, leadership development consultant and personality assessment proponent, I tend to think often and deeply about self-awareness, behavior change, performance improvement and helping people put strategies and actions plans into place so they can get to where they want to go. And I often recommend self-help/self-improvement material in the form of books, blogs, podcasts and videos that I myself find insightful.

However, a friend recently asked me a question that made me stop and wonder about how self-help actually works. The question she asked went something like this – “are you able to fix your own problems in the same way that you help your clients?”. She clarified further, “I mean, does being able to objectively see what other people need help with, allow you to objectively see what you need help with and then use that information to turn things around?”. After an immediate and reflex response of “Yes, of course!”, I started to ponder how true that really was. I realized that I have almost never been able to make a significant improvement or positive change in my life without some level of support from someone else.

Something about speaking to another person, debating ideas, getting advice, even simply knowing that there was someone either in my corner or holding me accountable contributed hugely towards helping me reach towards my goals. In earlier years, this person was a parent, another family member, a friend, or a teacher. As I grew older, this person was a boss or, most recently, another coach. Just as a surgeon cannot perform complicated surgery on herself or a dentist cannot perform her own root canal or a hairstylist cannot give herself complicated layers on the back of the head, a coach also needs a coach to keep walking up the virtuous upward spiral of improvement.  

What this means for anyone who is struggling to make big changes all by themselves with just self-help books and other material alone is to take a beat and consider creating a support team around you to help you get the most out of the strategies and practices you are learning about. The right coach can partner with you on creating a solid foundation for sustained change through uncovering mental blocks, finding clarity of purpose, discovering the right motivations, building good habits, and functioning as an accountability partner.

Your own efforts (self-help) powered by support from the right people/resources (supported-growth) are therefore the yin-yang to getting to a better life experience!

Would you like to explore whether working with a coach is right for you? Write to me at rucha@peoplecompass.in or send a message on LinkedIn to start a conversation!