Self-Awareness: A Leadership Multiplier

Daniel Goleman defines self-awareness as the ability to recognize and understand your own thoughts, feelings, and emotions—and how they affect your interactions with others.

As leaders, this matters more than we think. Your emotional tone often sets the emotional climate for your team. Under pressure, the way you react decides whether people feel safe, valued, and supported. And many leadership missteps happen not because of lack of skill or intent—but because we don’t realize what our emotions are doing to our behavior.

In fact, research by Tasha Eurich* shows that while 95% of people believe they’re self-aware, only about 10–15% really are. That gap explains a lot. Self-awareness is what helps you move from reacting on autopilot to responding with intention. And it often starts with spotting your emotional triggers.

One story I’ve heard lately serves as a powerful illustration of this gap - A leader moved from a traditional company into a startup. With the best of intentions, they brought in the same “old-school” practices—long hours, traditional work patterns, no focus on well-being—in the name of growth. Instead of inspiring, it drained the team. Morale dropped, people felt undervalued, and the workplace started to feel toxic. The issue wasn’t lack of knowledge or experience—it was lack of self-awareness. Defensive when challenged, dismissive of feedback, and dominating under pressure, the leader couldn’t see how their own reactions were affecting everyone else.

Sounds familiar? Can you recall a time when your own reaction surprised even you—and more importantly, how it rippled out to those around you?

That’s what emotional triggers do—they catch us off guard. Something as small as being cut off in a meeting, having a decision questioned, or receiving a critical email about your leadership can quickly spiral into frustration → reaction → unintended consequences. Teams shut down, feedback loops close, and judgment slips.

The good news? You can work on this by following these simple steps:

1. Name it. Pause and label the emotion you’re feeling.

2. Notice patterns. Keep track of what sets you off.

3. Choose differently. Give yourself a moment before you react.

That’s how you can start to shift from emotional reactivity to emotional responsibility. It’s what gives you that crucial pause between stimulus and response.

Example in Action:

• Situation: My team thinks I’m micromanaging.

• Emotions: I feel frustrated, disappointed, and worried they don’t get my perspective.

• What I can do instead: Rather than defending myself, I can ask: “What would help you feel more ownership?” or “How can I step back without leaving you unsupported?”

• Result: The conversation opens up, the team feels trusted, and what could’ve become a standoff turns into collaboration.

  
  

Key takeaway:

Your ability to notice and name your emotions as they arise is self-awareness in action. Every trigger you recognize becomes an opportunity to lead more thoughtfully, authentically, and effectively.

* Dr. Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist and author of several books like - Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think, Self Awareness, Shatterproof etc.

Watch her TEDx talk on Self Awarness