HAPPY NEW YEAR … WHO WILL YOU BECOME IN 2024?

We said goodbye to 1 more year, 12 more months, 52 more weeks, and 365 more days of 2023 and welcomed a brand-new year … Hell0 2024!

So, who will you become at the end of 2024? 1 whole year, 12 whole months, 52 whole weeks, and 365 whole days plus an extra because Leap Year! I have read so much about behavior change, building new habits, reaching new goals, getting rid of old habits, improving oneself, etc. etc. over the past year and the one common thing that stuck out for me is that building good habits, and getting rid of the not-so-good ones, isn’t a solo sport. It isn’t as much about personal willpower and perseverance – although these are very important ingredients – as it is about environment, timing and identity.

This year, I am ditching the traditional new year resolutions for a different idea synthesized from all the reading, listening and processing. Here is what the plan is –

1.     Get clear on WHO I want to BE and not on what I want to do:

Finding clarity on the kind of person I want to be rather than the things I want to do might just enable me to change some behaviors that are not serving me well and build some behaviors that will. How will that work though? A common focus area for many people is health & fitness, and as someone in my mid-forties this is now a definite priority. Instead of making goals that sound like “I will lose X kilos” or “I will be a certain size” or even “I will hit the gym 4 days a week”, I might reframe my identity to someone who makes good choices around health, fitness and diet. This could sound like an internal dialogue with myself where I ask the question – “what would a person who is committed to their health & wellness do?” And since I now think of myself as that person, I will choose those behaviors. I might go for a walk instead of scrolling on Instagram. I might go to bed at 10:30pm instead of engaging in revenge bedtime procrastination and end up staying awake till 12:00am. I might choose to cook simpler but healthier meals at home rather than ordering food from Zomato or Swiggy.

Some other examples of identity reframing that come to mind are – being a salesperson (going from I hate selling to asking, “what does someone who is good at selling do?” and then choosing to do those things) or controlling your anger (going from I can’t help losing my temper when people provoke me to asking “what does a patient and calm person do?” and then modeling those behaviors).

But remember, just because something sounds simple does not mean it is easy or quick! The crucial per-work that must be done is identifying the behaviors that associated with this new identity, and remembering to ask the question about who you want to be when faced with important decisions.

2.     Change my ENVIRONMENT in tiny ways:

No matter how much clarity I have on the kind of person I want to embody, if my environment and surroundings are not supporting me there is only so much I can do. Resisting takes effort and continually having to be in resistance mode weakens mental, physical and spiritual resolve. This is why the second crucial aspect of habit building and maintenance is changing our environment. An example - If having 12 packets of potato chips in your pantry comes in the way of self-control around counterproductive potato-chip-eating-behavior then not buying more than a small packet at a time might help. If having a full pack of cigarettes at home comes in the way of cutting down on smoking, then only buying a single cigarette at a time might help cut it down. If forgetting to water your beloved plants cause them to die thereby making you feel terrible, then hiring a gardener to come in once or twice a week might enable you to have a beautiful garden that you will be more inspired to take care of.

I am sure we have all heard about how we become a version of the 5 people we surround ourselves with. The same applies to all of our external influences. The company we keep, the things we buy, the state of our home all exert influence on us that we may not consciously be aware of. Change those mindfully and you make it easier to change yourself.

But remember, tiny, incremental changes are likely to stick more than large upheavals. Dramatically cutting your hair short and dying it purple after a tough breakup may feel momentarily great but true healing is more likely to come from removing reminders of the ex by removing their contact number from your phone so it doesn’t show up with their name, archiving photos, finding new places to hang out at, and finding new people/activities to become involved in. Incremental changes are more likely to be sustained changes.

3.     Respect the SEASONALITY of life & therefore be KINDER to myself:

It seems to me that we have lost all ability these days to see nuance in the way we live. The endless focus on productivity, monetization, profits, standardization and trends is burying the cadence and rhythm that is the foundation of everything. We have seasons in nature as we do in our life’s trajectory. Ups and down form the rhythm in music. The joy we feel is always compared to the sorrows we have to experience to make it that much more valuable. A flat line even though it sure is consistent equals dead. But equally true is that even the highest mountain you climb on a continuously upward and onward path ends at some point and we must descend.

What does all this philosophy mean from a practical perspective? To me it means that we must understand our own seasonality and cadence and rhythm and engage ourselves in harmony with the same. Take time off, give yourself a break, allow for setbacks, all the while knowing with deep certainty that the time to work hard, succeed, and improve will come. So, sleep in some days, take that mental health day, take that vacation & drink fruity cocktails by the beach, read a trashy novel in between the enriching literature, watch some Instagram reels for a little while … and while you are doing this, don’t beat yourself up or view yourself as having failed.  

I woke up this morning determined to knock this piece out in two hours. Well, it took me 2.5 times that amount just to get a first draft out on paper. And another hour to read it over again and edit to a point that was good enough. So here is a final thought … as I strive to think about who instead of what, change my environment incrementally and consider seasonality in 2024, I will do all of this in just a good enough way because perfection doesn’t really exist in the real world.

Happy New Year to everyone and here’s to becoming slightly different – and perhaps slightly better – versions of ourselves in 2024!

Do you want to take a deeper dive into some of the concepts in the article? Here are a few resources to get us started down the rabbit hole:

·      Books about habit building & hacking behavior change: The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg, Atomic Habits by James Clear, All It Takes Is A Goal by Jon Acuff

·      https://www.ananda.org/ask-yogananda/how-are-we-influenced-by-our-environment/

·      Book: Autobiography of a Yogi, Paramhansa Yogananda 

·      Jon Acuff’s podcast, “All it takes is a goal”

·      Google “Seasons of Life” (at your own risk!) for some interesting reading that touches philosophy, religion and spirituality