Clarity comes BEFORE Focus

For as long as I can remember, my image of myself has been that of an "ideas person". Not a day goes by without me thinking about some new business idea, craft idea, home renovation idea, cooking/baking idea, vacation idea, sewing idea, fix-the-traffic-situation idea ... you get the picture. And I bet that many of you are the same!

But if you were to ask me how many of these ideas have actually been executed, my answer would be "almost none" 🙈. I have had plenty of very valid justifications for why ideas to expand my business have not been acted on, or why I have to throw away the expensive fruit & vegetables I bought for that amazing Pinterest recipe I was going to try out, or why I spend hours "researching" destinations without ever actually buying the tickets and booking the hotels, or why the books I buy haven't been read, or why I haven't organized my desk & closet, or why I haven't started that couch-to-5K plan, or why .... and on and on.

Friends, coaches, ex-bosses and my mom have all told me at various stages and with varying degrees of kindness that I lacked "focus" and "discipline".  A Google search for "how to focus" or "books on how to focus" brings up pages and pages of results. Nike tells me to "Just Do It". Brian Tracey tells me "Eat That Frog!", Nir Eyal tell me to become "Indistractible", Cal Newport wants me to do "Deep Work", Daniel Goleman simply says "Focus", Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi wants me to find "Flow". There is clearly no shortage of books, articles, podcasts and other resources that can teach us how to focus. We live in a complex world that is full of distractions, infinite scroll, 3-minute videos, 140-character soundbites and so many other things that make it hard to sit still or engage with something past the initial itch to find something better.

Could it be that we need more than just willpower or discipline?

Could perhaps the reason why I (and maybe you) aren't able to finish our ever-growing to-do lists isn't that we lack focus but that we lack clarity on where we want to focus our energy?

Could it be that we need to understand ourselves better and align our goals to our values?

So how does one get there?

Clarity can come through:

• Creating quiet, judgment-free space for honest reflection

• Paying attention to emotions as clues

• Conducting tiny low-stakes experiments to gauge what gives us joy and what takes it away

• Journaling and reviewing journal entries periodically to find patterns

• Working with a good coach to help shine the light on hidden thoughts, values and patterns

• Being patient & kind to ourselves when we make mistakes!

All of this can move us towards building an understanding of our value system and what drives us. This is turn allows us the freedom to say NO to things, people and situations that are misaligned and are taking away valuable energy. This in turn frees up time and space to say YES to the things that do energize us and align with our higher values. And this in turn leads to being able to focus with a sharpness and dedication that drives us to goal attainment.

Let me end with a personal story - a couple of years ago I had a close relationship end badly, had a bad knee injury that prevented me from exercising, was feeling unchallenged and unmotivated at work, and found myself in a pretty low place. My first flailing response was an intense desire to fix everything FAST. I threw myself into socialzing with a vengeance. I applied for 20 jobs a day. I researched multiple training/education programs that I could apply for. I slept too little or too much and exercised too little or too much. In short, I was all over the place.  As you can imagine, it didn't help. My lack of clarity about what I wanted and why I wanted it was directly linked with my inability to focus. What did help was practicing the steps above consistently and patiently for two years so that today I am calm & content (most of the time 😉) knowing that I know where I want to go and how I want to get there. I have a vision & plan for my work that is getting executed slowly & surely. My injury has healed and I now strength train (aka lift heavy weights) 3 days a week consistently. I am surrounded by fewer but dearer friends. And last but not least, I now have true focus!

I would love to help you find your focus! Please reach out at rucha@peoplecompass.in if you would like to work with me as your coach.

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